It may surprise some of you to find out that even followers of Christ (Christians) get into arguments with other people. When that happens some Christians don’t know how to “engage”; in other words, they don’t know how to “fight fair”. (Stay with me and I’ll explain)
The Bible has a lot to say about arguments, anger, etc. So it’s fair to say that Christians have guidance about t
he “rules of engagement” when it comes to arguments. These “good rules of engagement” will help mend relationships and will help in pursuing lasting peace with others. For example, a while back I personally settled on the following rule: “No name calling”. Name calling (even joking) has a negative effect on people. Another rule that I heard last week was “Retaliate with kindness” – I love this one, and I plan to adopt it into my lifestyle.Here are some Bible verses that will guide you in creating your own Rules Of Engagement:
- Proverbs 26:17 It's better to take hold of a mad dog by the ears than to take part in someone else's argument.
- Luke 22:24-26 The apostles got into an argument about which one of them was the greatest. So Jesus told them: Foreign kings order their people around, and powerful rulers call themselves everyone's friends. But don't be like them. The most important one of you should be like the least important, and your leader should be like a servant.
- Proverbs 20:3 It makes you look good when you avoid a fight-- only fools love to quarrel.
- Romans 13:12-14 Night is almost over, and day will soon appear. We must stop behaving as people do in the dark and be ready to live in the light. So behave properly, as people do in the day. Don't go to wild parties or get drunk or be vulgar or indecent. Don't quarrel or be jealous. Let the Lord Jesus Christ be as near to you as the clothes you wear. Then you won't try to satisfy your selfish desires.
- Colossians 3:8,9 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.
- Ephesians 4:31,32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Please share some of the rules of engagement that you have adopted for yourself.
WARNING: There are actions that people engage in during an argument with another person that are very destructive. These actions drive relationships farther apart and escalate sin in the people who engage in them. When you find yourself in an argument, STAY AWAY FROM DESTRUCTIVE HABBITS (anything that will tear down the other person).
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Here are some that I have heard:
ReplyDelete1. No name calling
2. No walking away in anger without the other person's permission
3. No slamming doors
4. No rolling of the eyes (i.e. body language that says “that was the dumbest thing I’ve heard)
… others?
It's amazing how numb we are on the negative ways we react when we get angry.I think it's very valuable for all of us to do a personal evaluation on how we react as Christians to uncomfortable situations...I know it wouldn't hurt me to follow some of these rules and hold myself accountable.
ReplyDeleteT.LaPorte